Adam's Words

The New High Tech Job Market

Welcome to reality

Marrital status:
Significant Other or Married <1yr: -2
Married >1yr: -1
Single: +1
College:
No: +2
Dropout/partial: 0
Graduated: -1
Advanced degree: -5
Housing:
>15 minute commute: -1
<15 minute: 0
Lives in office under desk: +1
Pay:
Hourly: -2
Salary: +1
Intern/open source: (End: Reduce pay requirement to zero, you're hired!)
Willing to work (for salary positions only):
40h/week: -1
50h/week: 0
60h/week: +1
60+h/week: (End: See http://get.a.clue.com/, you're Hired!)
Jobs in the past 2 years:
0: -1
1: 0
2: +1
3+: -1
Age:
<22: +2
22-25: 0
26-30: -2
30+: (End: See management application)
Ever run your own business:
Yes: -2
No: 0

Scoring

If you score above zero, congratualtions, you are qualified to work in in the New High Tech Job Market.

If you score zero or lower, then you need to start looking for a job in management, or another field. You cannot be employed in the New High Tech Job Market.

Annotated Version (read this last)

Marrital status:
People with an S.O. have someone waiting for them at home, and may think about them during the day. This lowers productivity and causes the use of personal days or playing hookey.
College:
People with a degree want to be paid for the skills they have, whereas dropouts and people who haven't gone to college can (maybe) be trained.
Housing:
Long commutes induce napping, and longer delays when you page them to come reboot crashed systems. Employees that live under the desk are an obvious advantage.
Pay:
Salary is a wonderful thing, you can work emplyees to death and dont have to pay them more money. Open source work you can turn around and sell without paying the people who did the work which is great for profits. (See the people who wear hats that are red)
Willing to work (for salary positions only):
Noone wants their slaves going home or having lives now do they.
Jobs in the past 2 years:
Jumping ship too much or too little is a bad sign.
Age:
Expected wages increase with age and experience. Three people with no experience working 70 hour weeks can easily do the work of one experienced 40 hour worker. Anyone over 30 has little chance of being hired except in a management role.
Ever run your own business:
Entrepreneurial spirit and slavery generally do not mix.

© Copyright Adam L. Beberg 1999. All rights reserved.